Simirity is a family business and we've had our own struggle with family bonding.
We live in different countries, and popular apps like WhatsApp, Facebook, and Google Photos kept us in touch, but the connection we used to have, had gone. We realised that these services, while great for connecting and entertaining, were not designed to go beyond and give us that feeling of togetherness.
Since then, it's become our mission to help families find more fulfilling ways to interact online, so they can enrich family bonds even if they live apart.
Unfortunately, family bonding across generations is not easy these days. Read on to explore the challenges and how you can overcome them.
Like plants, relationships need nourishment to grow. Even for close relationships, like those in our family.
The beauty of family relationships is that they are not damaged by time apart. They can, however, enter a ‘standby mode’ if you don’t invest in them. 😐
Do you truly want to pause your relationships with loved ones? Wouldn’t daily life be so much nicer if you could nurture those relationships from a distance and enjoy an even closer connection without the need to meet in person? 😄
There is less and less family time due to busy lives and living apart.
Social media and messaging apps make it easier than ever to ‘stay connected’. But ‘connecting’ with family is not the same as family bonding.
When was the last time you had an emotionally engaging interaction with your family? Messages and emojis rarely help. Even video calls can become duelling monologues as you take turns to share your news…
Meaningful communication has been derailed by modern technology.
Family bonding through engaging conversations has been replaced by a flurry of well-intended yet unfulfilling mobile messages. Making families feel cut-off from the people they love.
Spending quality time together is the best scenario, but if it's not 'quality time', just 'passing the time', you're no closer to bonding despite being together as a family.
Truthful messages, free of sugarcoating that encourage honest discussions.
Memories, activities or thoughts that create a shared understanding.
Unwavering support that is non-judgmental and requires nothing in return.
A feeling of emotional separation or detachment between individuals.
* This equation is our interpretation of bonding
That’s why so many people in cities like London can feel lonely, despite interacting with others all day.
👉 Have you experienced a time when you physically spent time with people but felt no more than an acquaintance? Looking at the equation, it’s easy to see how that can happen—instead of opening up and sharing something meaningful to connect over, conversations that focus on small talk are far less likely to strengthen bonds.
Social media and messaging apps are great as they give us the chance to share our experiences, which is a core part of bonding. However, messages and posts are more focused on showing the highlights from life, not providing an authentic viewpoint. Without authenticity, there’s no support to offer and less opportunity for emotional connection, both of which are needed for bonding.
Our parent’s generation bonded by sharing authentic stories about their lives. They actively listened to each other. Supported each other. Learned about each other. All blissfully free of distractions…
All is not lost – just because busy modern families meet less frequently it doesn’t mean they can’t replicate the approach of previous generations.
💡 If we can’t meet to share our stories, let’s just share them online. And to make them an effective tool for fostering stronger family connections, let’s share stories that encompass the full spectrum of life (not just the ‘wow’ moments).
Is that really all families need to do to feel closer, just share heartfelt stories?
Let’s review the bonding equation with reference to storytelling. A story about your childhood for example, could share a real experience from an authentic point of view, which would give recipients a chance to get emotionally closer and even offer support and empathy. You would meet all the requirements to establish a strong bond with the person sharing the story.
By comparison, you couldn’t hope to achieve this level of bonding with a message or photo. Stories hold the key to a united family unit, and they can be shared from afar and elaborated on in a video call. 📖
Before Simirity, there was no real home for family stories online.
Sure, you had your digital photo albums, your shared drives and documents, and your messaging apps. These are all great tools, but you would struggle to use them as a library of family stories.
At its core, Simirity helps families in two key ways:
Inspiring engaging conversations that strengthen family bonds
Building a private repository of family stories for future family
A helpful concept is the idea of an ’emotional bank account’ between you and each family member, though it applies to all types of relationships. It’s an idea coined by Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
💡 Like a bank account, we can make deposits and withdrawals by the actions we make. Ultimately, if we want strong family bonds we need to maximise our deposits and minimise our withdrawals. It’s that simple.
So how can we do that?
Family bonding can enhance the quality of life for the whole family:
There are many different ways to bond.
If we go back to the emotional equation for bonding given above, you want to share an authentic experience and use that to connect emotionally. You could do this in all manner of ways, from skydiving together, to a family event or a mealtime conversation.
We’ll explore ideas for two types of family bonding.
People rarely open up right on cue and share what’s going on in their minds. Especially children and teenagers.
Semi-distracted environments help make conversations start naturally without feeling forced. There shouldn’t be any time pressure and privacy might encourage people to be vulnerable and open up. Here are a few examples that are great ways to create bonding time without making a big fuss of it:
Here are some fun activities that your family can enjoy while bringing you closer together. Less about talking, and more about creating lasting memories by doing.
Here are some additional ideas for family bonding activities.
