Revealing Questions to Ask Your Kids (That Capture Who They Are)

Andrew Ronald

Simirity Founder | Father of two

11th November, 2025

If you want to capture your child’s inner world before this age slips away, these questions to ask your kids will reveal who they truly are right now.

Your child’s views and opinions on all aspects of life are constantly evolving. What they believe at eight might well be completely different by twelve, and unrecognisable by sixteen. Many parents never think to ask these thought-provoking questions until it’s too late, and then can’t quite remember what their children thought or felt at each stage. They undoubtedly have thousands of photographs showing what they looked like, but nothing capturing what was going on in their mind.

That’s what makes these insightful questions for children aged 8 to 18 so valuable. They’re designed to reveal your child’s inner world—not what happened at school today, but how they see themselves, what matters most to them, and how they make sense of life. Ask them now, and you’ll gain a deeper understanding of your child. Preserve the answers, and you’ll both treasure this glimpse into who they were before everything changed.

How to Use These Questions

The best conversations happen naturally, not as formal sit-downs.

I’ve found car journeys work brilliantly—something about not making eye contact helps children open up. Bedtime, family walks, and lazy weekend mornings also work well.

Don’t rush through them. The odd question might flop, while others might lead to a fun and insightful 20-minute conversation—so be ready for either outcome. Some families choose a question of the week at Sunday dinner. Others ask spontaneously when the moment feels right. Do whatever suits your family.

If your child says “I don’t know” or gives a shrug, that’s fine. Come back to it another day, or try a different question. Forcing answers defeats the purpose—you want genuine thoughts, not performance.

75 Questions to Ask Your Kids

Below you’ll find a preview of questions organised into seven categories. Each category explores a different aspect of your child’s inner world. Feel free to jump around—start with whichever theme feels most natural for your children at the moment.

Want all 75 questions across these seven categories? Download the complete guide later in this article.

Turn everyday moments into lifelong memories in Simirity.

TRY IT NOW

Questions About Identity & Self-Discovery

Who is your child becoming?

These questions invite them to reflect on their personality, strengths, and what makes them different from everyone else. The answers reveal how they see themselves—and sometimes that’s different from how we see them.

Questions:

1. If you could teach everyone in the world one thing, what would it be and why?
2. When do you feel most confident being yourself?
3. What’s something about you that most people don’t understand or know?
4. If you could have any superpower, which would you choose?

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

— Aristotle

Questions About Family Connections & Belonging

These questions help children put into words what family means to them.

They might talk about favourite memories, funny moments, traditions they love, or what makes your family different from others. The answers often surprise parents—it’s rarely the big holidays or expensive trips they remember most.

Questions:

1. What’s your favourite memory of our family doing something together?
2. What’s something special about our family that you don’t think other families have?
3. What do you love most about being part of this family?
4. If you could ask Grandma or Grandpa one question about when they were young, what would it be?

Questions About Values & Character

These questions reveal your child’s developing moral compass.

They show what they consider important, what they stand for, and who they admire. The answers give you insight into whether your family values are taking root, and you may well be in for a few interesting surprises!

Questions:

1. What does it mean to be a good friend, and are you one?
2. When was a time you stood up for something you believed in?
3. What’s something you think is unfair in the world, and what would you change about it?
4. Who is someone you admire, and what qualities do they have that you respect?

Questions About Dreams, Goals & Future

What does your child hope for?

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

— Eleanor Roosevelt

These questions delve into their aspirations, curiosities, and vision of who they aspire to become. The answers help you support them on their journey, and if you record them, you’ll gain a wonderful record of how their dreams evolve over the years.

Questions:

1. If you could wake up tomorrow with one new skill mastered, what would it be?
2. What’s something you want to accomplish before you turn 18?
3. Where do you see yourself living when you’re grown up, and why there?
4. What kind of impact do you want to have on the world?

Questions About Memories & Reflections

What moments matter most to your child?

These questions uncover which memorable experiences stuck in their memory, offering you an insight into what they value. Life viewed through children’s eyes can be quite different—the stories and perspectives they share might surprise you.

Questions:

1. What’s your earliest memory?
2. What’s a moment from this year that you never want to forget?
3. What’s something small that happened that made you really happy?
4. What’s a moment when you felt really proud of yourself?

Questions About Challenges & Growth

Growing up means facing challenges.

These questions help children reflect on difficulties they’ve overcome and recognise their own strength. By asking these questions, you’re letting them know that you’re someone they can talk to whenever they have a challenge and need help.

Questions:

1. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?
2. What’s something you failed at that taught you something important?
3. What’s something you’re trying to improve about yourself?
4. When was a time you felt scared but did it anyway?

Questions About Gratitude & Perspective

These questions foster appreciation and perspective.

They help children recognise what they value in their lives and relationships. Even during challenging times, gratitude questions can lift everyone’s mood and create meaningful conversations.

Questions:

1. What’s something that happened today that you’re grateful for?
2. Who is someone you’re thankful to have in your life, and why?
3. What’s something you have now that you didn’t have a year ago?
4. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

"It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful."

— David Steindl-Rast

Want all 75 questions plus tips for using them with different age groups?

Download the complete guide below.

Their Personality Time Capsule: Ask Your Kids the Same Questions Over Time

I’ve made it a family tradition to ask my boys these types of questions every New Year.

Revisiting their answers from previous years is priceless—watching how they’ve changed, what mattered to them at different ages, how their thinking evolved. It’s like a time capsule that reveals their inner world.

I certainly don’t remember my thoughts and feelings from childhood. That’s the gift I can offer my children, and you can offer yours too. Years from now, they’ll treasure having this rare insight into how they once were.

Preserve their childhood memories in media-rich stories.

SIMIRITY JOURNAL

How to Preserve Their Answers

I’ve tried different methods of recording these conversations with my boys. Video seemed ideal at first, but I found they performed for the camera rather than thinking genuinely about their answers. Cute, but not really what I was after! Audio recording works far better—a simple voice memo app on my phone captures their voices without making them self-conscious.

The challenge comes afterwards: what do you actually do with these recordings?

I wanted to share them with my wife and my parents, and ensure my boys could access them years from now when they’re curious about who they once were. But I didn’t want these precious recordings buried on my phone or computer, lost amongst thousands of other files.

Some families keep a physical journal, writing key answers alongside dates—though that means losing the actual voice recordings, which seems a shame. Others create shared digital folders on Google Drive or Dropbox for uploading audio files. Both work, but neither felt quite right for what I needed.

What I really wanted was a home for all our family content—these recorded conversations, yes, but also photos with relevant background information, videos, and written stories from older relatives, as well as life lessons worth passing down.

Somewhere private that our whole family could access and contribute to. A proper family journal, not just a storage folder.

It turned out no such place existed, so we built one.

Simirity is our family’s private journal online.

All generations can create stories that incorporate audio recordings (such as the conversations I have with my boys), photos, videos, written memories, documents, maps—whatever helps tell the story properly. We named it after the 2,000-year-old ‘Smriti’ texts that preserved details of life back then.

Now all generations of our family feel closer than ever as we explore each other’s stories. My children read diary entries from their great-great-grandparents. My parents share their life stories. And yes, my boys’ annual audio recordings live there too, building their personality time capsule year by year.

Learn more about the features that could help your family share stories and connect:

Access All Questions to Ask Your Kids

Ready to start building your child’s personality time capsule? You can download the complete collection of 75 questions to ask your kids, organised by theme and with guidance for using them with children aged 8-18.

You’ll get:

• All 75 questions organised into 7 categories
• Tips for revisiting questions as your children grow
• Ideas for preserving and sharing their answers

More Ways to Spark Family Conversations

These questions are just the beginning. If you’re enjoying deeper conversations with your children, consider exploring your family’s broader story too.

Discover your parents’ stories

Want to capture your own parents’ memories before it’s too late? Our guides to questions to ask your mom and questions to ask your dad help you uncover the stories that shaped them—and ultimately shaped you. Your children will treasure knowing their grandparents’ histories too.

Turn conversation into play

Looking for something lighter? Try our would you rather questions for families. It’s a fun game that kids love, but it cleverly reveals their values, priorities, and how they think—and everyone has a good time in the process.

Your family’s past, present & future—woven together in Simirity.

SEE HOW

Tips for Asking Your Kids Meaningful Questions

Timing matters more than you think

Forget formal sit-down conversations. These questions work brilliantly during car rides, bedtime, while making dinner together, or on weekend walks. Choose moments when your child is naturally relaxed and you won’t be interrupted. Avoid asking when they’re tired, hungry, or stressed about homework.

Don’t ask them all at once

One thoughtful question per week creates far better conversations than rushing through a list. This isn’t a questionnaire to complete—it’s about creating meaningful moments. Some families make it a Sunday evening tradition; others ask spontaneously when the moment feels right.

“I don’t know” is a valid answer

If your child shuts down or genuinely can’t answer, don’t push. Come back to it another time, or try a different question. Forced conversations rarely produce honest insights. Sometimes children need time to think, or they’re simply not ready to discuss certain topics yet.

Share your own answers too

These work brilliantly as two-way conversations. After your child answers, share your response to the same question. It shows you’re not just testing them—you’re having a genuine exchange. Children often become more thoughtful when they see you being authentic and vulnerable too. It’s a great way to connect more deeply with them too.