Snowplow Parenting – Examples & What to Do Instead
Snowplow parenting happens when well-meaning parents remove all obstacles in their child’s way in an attempt to protect them from failure and rejection.
At first, it seems like the right thing to do — who wouldn’t want to protect their child from pain? But struggle isn’t something to be feared; it’s a fundamental part of growth. By constantly stepping in, parents may unintentionally prevent their children from developing the skills they need to succeed.
I’ve caught myself doing it too, smoothing the path so my boys can get ahead. But I’m realising now that real growth comes from facing challenges, not avoiding them.
So, how do we upgrade from snowplow parenting?
In this article, we’ll explore the concept of snowplow parenting, discover five common examples, and share practical advice on how to avoid these habits. By the end, you’ll gain a clearer understanding of what snowplow parenting looks like and how to foster resilience and independence in your child.
Jump to section:
- What is Snowplow Parenting?
- 5 Types of Snowplow Parenting
- 5 Steps to Escape Snowplow Parenting
- From ‘Clearing the Path’ to ‘Guiding the Way’ with Simirity
- The Hard Times That Made Your Family Stronger
- Parting Question to Avoid Snowplow Parenting
What is Snowplow Parenting?
Snowplow parenting happens when parents try to remove every obstacle in their child’s life, whether by fixing their problems, making decisions for them, or shielding them from discomfort. While this is often done out of love, it can actually prevent kids from building the resilience, independence, and problem-solving skills they need to succeed in life.
As parents, our role isn’t to remove every obstacle but to prepare our children to face them with confidence.
If we don’t give them opportunities to navigate challenges, we risk raising kids who struggle with setbacks and self-reliance. Instead, we should focus on providing guidance and encouragement, helping them develop the skills and resilience needed for the real world.
5 Types of Snowplow Parenting
1. Overprotecting
Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.
— Robert A. Heinlein
Hovering excessively over children, not allowing them to explore and learn from their mistakes, is easily done by well-meaning parents. We see the risks and want to help our children avoid them! Which is understandable, just not ideal.
Parents and caregivers should balance supervision and independent exploration, enabling children to develop life skills like problem-solving and resilience.
Protect them a little less now, so they are better protected later, thanks to the lessons they learned.
2. Micromanaging
Micromanagement is a sure way to stifle creativity and drive away talent.
— Indra Nooyi
Being overly involved in a child’s life and micromanaging their every move can hinder the development of your children’s problem-solving skills and independence.
I all too easily turn into micromanaging with our children. As adults, we generally know what, when and how things should be done – telling them is a natural tendency I am working on restraining.
Let them figure it out, adopt a growth mindset and strengthen their skill set in the process.
3. Shielding from responsibilities
The worst thing you can do for your child is do everything for them.
— Unknown
I have mixed feelings when I compare the responsibilities my parents or grandparents had to those of my children.
Our children’s childhood is filled with far more social times, fun and learning, which is great. However, I worry about their lack of responsibilities and opportunities to develop the ‘grit’ they will need as they grow. They have no clue yet how lucky they are, and that is not a good thing.
So we’re trying to give our children more little jobs around the house and make them feel accountable. Even if it’s more effort to get them to do it than do it ourselves.
4. Overindulgence and privileges
Parents who overindulge their children and refuse to discipline them are not showing love but are actually being neglectful.
— Ray Burke
Snowplow parents are great at treating their children. Be it financially, with material possessions or privileges. We want their life to be easy and fun!
The problem is that children get a reward without learning the value of hard work, and they are not as grateful for it as a result. The worry is that they’ll come to expect this on an ongoing basis. It might work with their parents, but good luck with future relationships and working for a company…
We want our children to be challenged in a positive context — to struggle somewhat but then, through grit and hard work (and help as needed), reach success and the rewards that come with it.
5. Inconsistent discipline
The worst thing to do is to give in to a child’s every whim. Without structure, they’ll be lost.
— Suze Orman
Implementing rules consistently is key. Avoid playing the role of Mr Nice Guy today and Mr Not-so-nice tomorrow by moving the goalposts.
It can be tempting to change the rule to make it easier for them, but that can lead to children becoming uncertain, frustrated, and resentful. It’s so important for everyone involved to know exactly what is expected of them and to feel that the rules are being applied fairly and consistently.
By communicating rules clearly and enforcing them consistently, we can create an environment where everyone feels respected and valued.
5 Steps to Escape Snowplow Parenting
Here are five simple things to check today to upgrade from snowplow parenting:
1. Encourage problem-solving instead of providing answers
Instead of regarding mistakes as failures, consider them as opportunities for learning. When children learn to troubleshoot problems independently, they cultivate resilience and independence.
2. Let natural consequences teach responsibility
When children experience the consequences of their actions, such as missing out on an activity due to poor planning, they begin to grasp the concept of cause and effect. This encourages them to take responsibility for their choices.
3. Encourage age-appropriate independence
If they need help, don’t jump in right away! Encourage them to try things on their own, and then guide them if needed. The more they practice independence, the more prepared they’ll be for adulthood.
Check out this list of age-appropriate chores for children aged 2 to 18. How do your children fair? Remember, it’s not about punishing children but teaching valuable life skills and a responsible mindset.
4. Teach emotional resilience rather than preventing stress
When children encounter setbacks, acknowledge their feelings while encouraging them to progress. Say, “I can see that this was difficult for you. What do you think you can do next?” instead of solving the problem for them.
5. Support effort and growth instead of just outcomes
Teach children that success is not about avoiding failure, but about learning from mistakes. When they face challenges, assist them in recognising what they have gained from the experience.
From ‘Clearing the Path’ to ‘Guiding the Way’ with Simirity
Simirity is a family business born out of our desire to help family connect in a more meaningful way. Snowplow parenting is something my wife and I trying to resist. We’ve gotten better over time, and the Simirity app has helped us, as I’ll explain.
What is the Simirity app?
Simirity App is a private storytelling app that unites your extended family in stories, even if you live apart.
Over time, your entire family can build an archive of digital stories, filled with memorable photos, videos and audio, that share your experiences with young generations.
How Simirity helps you step back and let children grow
1. Encourages children to see failure as growth
Snowplow parenting problem: Parents have inadvertently programmed their children to believe that failure is bad. This discourages them from trying new things where they might fail.
How Simirity helps: Real-life stories in Simirity illustrate to children that even their role models (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) faced challenges but overcame them. In fact, failures were often among the most important moments in people’s lives! Failure is something to appreciate, not fear.
2. Creates a safe space for open conversations
Snowplow parenting problem: Many children hesitate to share their thoughts and feelings, fearing judgment, disappointment, or that their emotions aren’t valid. Parents, in turn, struggle to create a space where their child feels ready to share what’s really on their mind.
How Simirity helps: Children get used to sharing their thoughts and feelings about real-life family stories in Simirity. Addressing challenges and emotions is no longer taboo, making them more willing to speak openly about experiences from their own lives.
3. Builds children’s confidence through storytelling
Snowplow parenting problem: Snowplow parents and their children are fearful of failure, but the reality is we have to fail sometimes to learn important lessons.
How Simirity helps: It’s surprising how all the little things children do add up! On a daily basis they don’t realise it, but when they look back at the stories about their childhood in Simirity, they gain confidence in their ability to grow and face challenges head-on.
Simirity helps you shift from over-parenting to empowering your child, one story at a time.
The Hard Times That Made Your Family Stronger
It might be a good time to remind yourself of all the hard times your family has already overcome. You and your loved ones demonstrated grit and determination in facing your challenges, and you emerged far better as a result. Don’t you want that for you children too?
- Consider the life lessons that your family have racked up over the years. Why not capture them in writing so they can be shared and preserved within your family. Here are some tips on writing captivating life-lessons.
- Explore interesting stories that illuminate all the challenges your parents faced with 350+ questions about their past.
Parting Question to Avoid Snowplow Parenting
Ask yourself honestly: Is this really in their best interest?
As the saying goes, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind:
- Avoid doing your children’s homework for them – let them learn.
- Don’t rescue your children from disagreements or arguments – let them strengthen their skills.
- Hold your child accountable for their responsibilities—whether it’s chores or commitments, following through builds confidence and life skills.
- Don’t overprotect children from the risks and dangers around them – let them learn so they can thrive even when you are not there.
